


Vinegar or Eggs?

by vhsrights



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Baking, F/F, Fluff, Things Don't Go As Planned, Tumblr Prompt, Vinegar, emily finds a recipe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:28:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29432448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vhsrights/pseuds/vhsrights
Summary: “So, how many eggs do we need?”“Um, none. That’s what’s so interesting about this recipe. There are no eggs. Instead, we get to use vinegar.” That caught JJ’s attention. Her head spun so quickly she could’ve probably gotten whiplash, staring at Emily in confusion and amazement.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	Vinegar or Eggs?

“Babe! Babe! Slow down!” 

JJ laughed as Emily whisked the mixture with all of her might. She had managed to work up quite a dust with the dry ingredients, not realizing how much powder would fly in her face if she mixed it without the wet ingredients. The loud whirr of the electric mixer died down after Emily switched it off, finally realizing what had happened. She huffed up to get some of the flour out of her eyes. 

“Okay, okay I get it now. Maybe you should take the reigns. But, we’re still using my cake recipe. I found a really cool one that was super chocolatey and with 2 layers.”

JJ kept laughing and Emily simply rolled her eyes. They had previously established that Emily’s expertise lied in cooking, while JJ’s lied in baking. The brunette had been able to bring a plethora of dishes to the table from her years spent country-hopping in her childhood. JJ, on the other hand, found comfort in the simplicity and science of baking. Many nights in her East Allegheny home had been spent in front of their oven with music playing as her confections baked. It had helped her to keep her connection with Roslyn and now, baking with Emily felt like a continuation of that bond. 

“Well, duh. It’s obvious that I’m the head baker in these parts, milady.” JJ pushed herself off of the counter and bowed to Emily from the side. 

Emily’s eyebrow raised as she watched JJ’s shenanigans and a mischievous thought came to the forefront of her mind. Before JJ realized it, her nose had been coated in the same dry ingredients that were present on her girlfriend’s face. Her eyes crossed to identify the substance and Emily doubled over in chuckles. JJ’s hands raised to her hips as she looked over to the brunette, eyeing her perpetrator. 

“Head baker, you say? I’d think that a head baker would have little bit more control in situations like these.” The taunts were clear in Emily’s voice and JJ took them to heart. 

“Oh really? Would she?” The blonde walked slowly towards Emily, cornering her against the island. She hopped forward and trapped the woman between her arms, surveying Emily with her eyes full of intent.

Both women’s hearts beat loudly before Emily softly kissed JJ. Her head tilted to let the blonde have full control of her lips, migrating her hands around JJ’s apron-clad waist. JJ’s hands cupped her face and all else was forgotten. The world shrunk to them and their loving kiss. The oven’s sharp ding pulled them apart before things could get too heated. However, JJ and Emily were still left dazed, staring in amazement at each other’s blush and kiss swollen lips. 

“Oh, I should go pull out the recipe for the wet ingredients. We should add them now. Can you please grab the wet measuring cup?” JJ’s face twisted with amusement at the innuendo but chose to focus on the baking for now. 

They would have time for other things later. 

She glided towards the cabinets and pulled out the rest of the bowls and pans that they would need. JJ looked over to see Emily carefully engrossed in her phone, likely trying to discern their recipe. 

“So, how many eggs do we need?”

“Um, none. That’s what’s so interesting about this recipe. There are no eggs. Instead, we get to use vinegar.” That caught JJ’s attention. Her head spun so quickly she could’ve probably gotten whiplash, staring at Emily in confusion and amazement. 

“I’m sorry… did you say vinegar? You want to replace eggs with vinegar. Are you insane?” JJ couldn’t shake her incredulous tone.

“Listen, I know it sounds weird but I wanted to try it. Besides, you’re a master baker so you fix it if anything goes wrong. Pleeease babe? Please? For me?” Emily skedaddled around the kitchen, moving comically in hopes to appease and convince JJ. 

“Ugh, fine. But if I end up dead because of this cake, I’m going to come back and haunt you. I’ll even tell Garcia so that you never hear the end of it.” Emily clapped like an excited toddler and returned to her place by the mixing bowl. 

“Okay, so I add 3 tablespoons of vinegar… no wait. 3 teaspoons of vinegar. And 1. 2. 3. Oh, shit. I added a bit of the excess into the mix too. I didn’t mean to pour it like that but it should be okay. Right Jayje?” Emily turned back to see the blonde laughing nervously. 

“You know what? There is nothing we can do now, so just stir it. Maybe the frosting, in the end, will fix it. Or, we might not even be able to taste it.” JJ shrugged but silently prayed for the cakes to turn out okay. 

She wasn’t lying about haunting Emily.

The rest of the process went as normal and JJ guided Emily through the steps. They got a bit distracted while the cakes were in the oven, but it wasn’t too long so no harm, no foul.

The first sign that things were not good should have been when the cakes fell apart as they pulled them out of the molds. Emily was still hopeful. She wanted this recipe to be a success. 

“Here, let me try it before you get your hopes up, Jayje.” 

The brunette took one bite and her eyes widened in shock. Vinegar. Poison. Whatever that taste was, it was not pleasant. JJ held back a laugh and pulled out her phone to take a picture of Emily’s face for future reference. She then looked at the comments under the cake, reading aloud that the cakes were tasting of plastic and basically inedible. 

Emily learned 2 things that day: Never replace eggs with vinegar, and ALWAYS read the comments under a food recipe. 

JJ never let her forget it either; their “plastic cake” forever living in infamy.


End file.
